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Addiction... The Habits That Hold You

Addictions are the result of avoiding the pain in our lives by medicating with a substance. We can become addicted to almost anything. The problem with addictions in general is that they dominate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They rob us of our energy, hinder productivity, destroy relationships, and keep us in guilt, shame, fear, and defeat.

Typically we medicate with any number of the following; Alcohol, caffeine, care taking, the chase, children, chronic illness, church activity, cleaning, compulsive lying, computers, control, credit card/ buying, drugs, emotional abuse, exercise, fights, food, gambling, love, money, music, nicotine, pain, physical abuse, prescription medicine, rage, reading, relationships, religion, sex, sexual abuse, soap operas/TV, sugar/sweets, talking, telephone, video games, and work.

The most sought after commodity on the planet earth is peace. It is peace of mind. They sell it to you all day on television. It's in the beer commercials- go to the lake, go to the ocean, or it's buy this car, eat this, drink that, wear these, get you two or three of those, get a boy, get a girl, two boys, get three girls- everything that'll make you feel...ahhh, man! Now i'm at peace.

So it doesn't sound like a big deal until you put it in context with what you're insides are crying out for. When I was in my addictions, and even in early recovery, all I wanted was for this brain to just shut up you know? Just shut up! "What will it take to get this brain to shut up? Am I going to have to go back and drink another quart of vodka and eat some more pills?" At a time in my addiction that worked. That's why I did it- it worked. That's why I returned to it. It was my best friend. It worked for me. But one day it turned on me and stopped working.

So I ended up with an addiction to something that used to be my saving grace but didn't work anymore. Now all I had was the addiction. Now i'm just sucking down a case of beer a day and smoking a ton of pot, and i'm just as miserable drunk as I am sober, and the peace wont come. But i can't quit- which finally brings me to the end of myself and makes me willing to quit. So, the thing that I sought was that peace. And sometimes I'd arrive at it. "Oh yeah that is it"... a magic moment. But when it stopped coming,i was lost and addicted. I had to have help to quit.

If you or anyone you know is battling with any addictions please seek help by calling the addiction hotline number at (855) 288-9869.

ONeil, Mike S. Power To Choose. Nashville, TN, Power Life Resources, 1998.


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